Day Three

Nancy Thomas:  Mini-Camp

I woke today feeling really low.  My husband was in a foul mood - not helped by the dishwasher having flooded the floor.  This comes at the end of a week when firstly the sink got blocked and we discovered that it had been incorrectly installed in the first place, then the washing machine broke and now the dishwasher.  Surely that has to be it for the appliance in the kitchen now!

Anyway my daughter was in a dreadful mood too and by the time I reached camp this morning I was in tears.  I didn't really know why - but I think it was to do with the fact that this was our last 'Nancy Thomas day' and the thought of going it back alone is a little scary.

I bought her book - When love is not enough - if anyone wants a copy there is a cheaper supplier than Amazon - shout and I'll dig out the link!  I got it for just under £12.  The book is pretty much everything we've been taught over the last 3 days - but its there in black and white and if I need to check back I can.  Always a bonus when you are learning something new!  The children seem happier, I know I'm certainly more positive about the future and I'm not so frustrated by the things they do.  I understand the problem and we've a strategy to fix it.

I'm still anxious over what will happen in time, however I've loads of new friends from the camp to contact if I feel I just need to rant at a parent who WILL understand!

For all you readers (and why are most of you still lurkers - it gets a litte lonely in blog land without comments!! :D  ) who have normal children - rejoice in them, and please don't automatically assume that the harrassed looking woman in the corner of the playground is just a bad mum, she might just be me!!

Day Two

Nancy Thomas:  Mini Camp

Its official.  Both children have Reactive Attachment Disorder.  Strangely instead of feeling sad, I feel positive.  There is a LOGICAL reason as to why my children behave as they do.  All the times I've seen other parents pull faces at my seemingly inability to parent - they were wrong.  You can't parent a child with RAD as you would a 'normal' child.  Their brains are functioning incorrectly - and I need to re-write the damage that they suffered from being neglected and abused, and that sadly does not happen over night.

Nancy is giving us the tools and support to do this ourselves and we are seeing results.  For the first time I feel we're getting somewhere, and its a great feeling.  Its wonderful to meet other parents facing the same issues too and who knew - but one of the couples there have a child in my children's school!  I did know of other adopted children in the village, but it goes to show - you don't know them all.  We've made good friends with another couple too who live not too far from us and I'm looking forward to meeting up for coffee next week with them.  Except that coffee is now off the menu as 'our' children can't take the caffeine, not that they actually drank coffee, but they LOVE tea.  De-caff tea it is then!

Day One

Nancy Thomas:  Mini Camp - Day One

Nancy Thomas is AWESOME and I make no apology for using clearly an American word on an otherwise reserved English blog ! :D

Upon arrival, we duly registered and took our children in to the hall.  In the registration pack was a checked napkin amongst other things.  Nancy soon had the adults trooping out of the hall and up some stairs leaving our children behind.  Once upstairs Nancy confessed we were now in the Pit Stop room - and that napkin wasn't actually a napkin - but a FLAG!!  Now when our children did something that we'd previously 'asked' them not to do, we weren't to SAY a word - just raise our flag and the staff would come and collect the children and bring them to the pit stop room where they'd get the child to sit (?) and then say what they did wrong, before coming up with a plan on how they were going to make it better.  Yeah right!  (that was my thought).

A little later when my chair was being repeatedly kicked, I tentatively raised my flag... two staff swooped over, took my son away and up to the room - gave me some chocolate (for the serotonin) and asked me to write what he'd done.  I imagined he'd be there hours - he NEVER knows what he's done wrong and what on earth was sitting going to do!!!  Imagine my surprise when no more than 10 minutes later he's there in front of me telling me he'd been kicking my chair on purpose and to make it up to me he'd rub hand cream on my hands....  Well - I won't give you all of Nancy's secrets, besides I'm too shattered to write much more today.  All I can say is that I really got it wrong before - and I can't believe what damage I've caused to my children (unintentionally), but that it stops.  Now.